Surviving exams: simple tools to overcome this journey of worry and stress

Exam season can be stressful for any young person. The pressure to revise, perform well, and think about the future can feel overwhelming. But for children in care, exams often carry an extra emotional weight that is not always visible from the outside.

Behind the revision timetables and school expectations may be young people managing trauma, placement changes, disrupted education, anxiety, low self-esteem, family worries, or the fear of failure. For many children in care, simply attending school consistently and sitting exams is already a huge achievement.

That is why during exam season, support matters just as much as results; if not more.

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In children’s homes and foster placements, carers and staff play a vital role in helping young people survive the pressure of exams while protecting their emotional wellbeing at the same time.

Understanding the Pressure on Children in Care

Children in care may experience additional barriers during exams, including:

• Gaps in education

• Difficulty concentrating due to trauma or anxiety

• Low confidence in academic ability

• Fear of disappointing adults

• Sleep difficulties

• Emotional dysregulation

• Lack of stable routines in the past

• Comparing themselves to peers

• Pressure linked to future independence plans

Some young people may appear disengaged or say they “don't care,” when underneath they are deeply worried about failing.

Others may become withdrawn, irritable, emotional, or avoid revision completely because the pressure feels too big.

Understanding the behaviour behind the stress is important.

Success Is Bigger Than Grades

One of the most powerful messages adults can give children in care during exams is this:

Your worth is not measured by your grades.

While education matters, emotional wellbeing matters too. Young people need reassurance that exams do not define who they are, their future, or their value as a person.

Sometimes the greatest success is:

• Showing up to the exam

• Trying despite anxiety

• Revising for 20 minutes

• Asking for help

• Managing emotions safely

• Building resilience through pressure

These achievements deserve recognition too.

Simple Tools to Help Reduce Exam Stress

Supporting children through exams does not require perfection. Often, small consistent actions make the biggest difference.

Create Calm Routines

Young people thrive on predictability, especially during stressful periods.

Simple routines can help reduce anxiety:

• Consistent wake-up and bedtime routines

• Planned revision times with breaks

• Calm evening environments

• Preparing school bags and uniforms the night before

• Keeping mornings low stress where possible

Routine creates emotional safety.

Break Revision Into Small Steps

Exams can feel overwhelming when young people think about everything at once.

Encourage:

• 20-30 minute revision sessions

• One subject at a time

• Small achievable goals

• Revision checklists

• Rewarding effort, not just outcomes

Small wins build confidence.

Encourage Breaks Without Guilt

Children in care may already carry high emotional stress levels. Constant revision without rest can increase anxiety and shutdown.

Healthy breaks matter:

• Walks outside

• Music

• Cooking

• Gaming in moderation

• Creative activities

• Talking with trusted adults

• Physical exercise

Rest is productive too.

Watch for Signs of Emotional Overload

Exam stress does not always look like worry.

It may appear as:

• Anger

• Avoidance

• Tearfulness

• Headaches or stomach aches

• Difficulty sleeping

• Refusing school

• Increased conflict

• Shutting down emotionally

Sometimes young people need emotional support before they can focus academically.

Help Young People Challenge Negative Thoughts

Many children in care struggle with confidence and self-belief.

You may hear:

• “I’m stupid.”

• “I’m going to fail.”

• “There’s no point trying.”

• “Everyone else is better than me.”

Adults can help gently challenge these thoughts by focusing on effort, growth, and progress.

Try phrases like:

• “You’ve already overcome difficult things before.”

• “You do not have to be perfect.”

• “Trying matters.”

• “We are proud of the effort you’re making.”

• “One exam does not decide your future.”

Encouragement matters more than people realise.

Create a Safe Space After Exams

After exams, many young people continue carrying anxiety while waiting for results.

Some may replay mistakes repeatedly or fear judgement.

Children need space to decompress without immediately being asked:“How do you think you did?”

Sometimes what they need most is:

• A favourite meal

• Quiet time

• Reassurance

• Distraction

• Normality

• Praise for getting through it

The emotional recovery after exams is just as important.

The Role of Residential Staff and Carers

During exam season, carers and residential staff often become:

• Motivators

• Emotional regulators

• Revision supporters

• Cheerleaders

• Safe adults

• Calm role models

It is not about having all the academic answers.

It is about helping young people feel supported, safe, and believed in.

Children may forget specific revision sessions in years to come, but they will remember the adults who sat beside them when they were stressed, reassured them when they doubted themselves, and stayed calm when emotions felt overwhelming.

Looking Beyond Results Day

Results day can bring excitement, disappointment, relief, or uncertainty.

Whatever the outcome, children in care need consistent support and perspective.

Young people should know:

• There are multiple pathways to success

• Exams are only one chapter of life

• Setbacks do not define them

• Support does not disappear after results

Some children will exceed expectations.Some will struggle.Some will need another chance later.

All of them still deserve encouragement, stability, and hope.

Final Thoughts

Exam season can feel like a long journey of stress and worry for children in care, but they should never have to face it alone.

The most valuable support is not perfect revision plans or constant pressure to achieve.

It is the presence of calm, supportive adults who remind young people:

• You are capable.

• You are more than your grades.

• We believe in you.

• We will support you whatever happens.

Sometimes surviving exams is not about achieving perfection.

It is about getting through the experience feeling supported, understood, and valued - and that can make all the difference.